Tuesday, November 1, 2011
I Got Your Inspiration Right Here!
Since I stepped on the international mission field back in 07', I noticed a growing practice among my peers. In its self it is not bad or harmful to the individual believer. Though the need for fresher prospective is needed from time to time, it can not replace our mission which it's self is more than sufficient as our inspiration. I am talking about the gospel. The mystery that is ours as believers to reveal to the world and teach to its recipients. (Matt.28:19; Col.1:25-27)The practice that I am referring to is the need to read the newest inspirational, radical, loving, captivating, selfless christian book to become filled to do what Jesus commanded. I know they all mean well and their hearts are to point people to God but the early church had a big problem with people trusting in more the philosophy of others over the gospel. There I said it.
I must always address those who don't know me very well who are reading this. No, I am not the guy who hates the church. It's to the contrary. I love the church and its heart that beats for Jesus. I only try in every way to keep a Christ-centered prospective on things. With the spreading of the gospel and its responsibilities that follow, as our duty to God through love. No, I do not despise education. I love to learn. I read about History for fun. I'm in Bible school right now and hoping to earn a TESL certification someday. Again I am not anti- anything dealing with christian literature, I just try to defend the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Who doesn't have their favorite Christian authors? Chambers, Piper, Lewis, Eldredge are some of my personal favorites. But I have always been weary of those believers who float around an idea trying to bring themselves to a place were they can get excited again about their meaningless, boring, directionless lives in Jesus. Isn't the Word of God, Love of God and it's message to the world enough? How about the function of and our relationship with the Holy Spirit? This past Saturday I had the privilege to share the gospel to a family member at our local Chick-fil-a. In reviewing to him the basic truths about our salvation, justification, regeneration, sanctification,(any other -tion you want to add) through believing in the gospel message I was reminded of how amazing is our life as believers in Jesus Christ.
Look at some of the scriptures about the gospel. Romans 3:23, "all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God" and as a result the "wages of sin is death"(Rom. 6:23a) We are not even suppose to be holding any hope but "the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord"(Rom.6:23b) Eternal life given to us who have no business in eternity, for free. Romans 5:8 should cause your heart to over flow because it says, "But God demonstrates His own Love for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." God shows His Love for us by physically getting involved with the process of coming down to earth to die for a people he created, who killed him, and deny Him as creator and savior. If any person genuinely receives this to be true and puts their faith in and believes that Jesus died for our sins and resurrected then we are saved.(Rom.10:9-13) Romans 5:1, "There, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 8:1, "there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." I now can have a peaceful relationship with a Holy God whose wrath would still be on me had it not been for the spilling of Christ's blood.(Hebrews 9:22) There is nothing that can separate me from that Love. (Romans 8:38-39)
This truly moves me to live my life for Him. I don't need anything else. This is all made possible because of the Father's love, Jesus' sacrifice and resurrection and the Holy Spirit's presence in me.
So here are my questions; Is the gospel not enough? Is the Bible not current enough? Does the Holy Spirit not have a place? Are you afraid to share the gospel?
I was inspired this a morning when I read the Apostle Paul's letter in 2Thessalonians 2:13-17,"But we are bound to give thanks to God always for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God from the beginning chose you for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth, to which He called you by our gospel, for the obtaining for the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ..."
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Three Educations
If your new to the chapters of my life you have to understand that it was not all given to me from the beginning. It's not about poverty in the financial sense but more in the area of opportunity. I also am not one to cry about my circumstance or blame my environment for what happens in my life. The concrete jungle has it's lions prowling. In order to know how to handle life there you must enroll into the school of survival. The world will tell you it's own system through education. A systematic, full proof way of life, right? And then there is the Kingdom of God.
Everything I will say is my opinion and not fact for all. I could never fully explain the difficulty of a childhood in any ghetto, but one thing is sure, that the hood will educate you. In a broken home there is a large portion of your childhood in which you are encouraged to work it out your selves. A right of passage into what your parents had to do them selves, to live in the ghetto. No one taught them, so why would they feel they have to teach you. I am not talking just about driving a car. I am talking about all the aspects of life and with the added difficulty of living in an environment where people are mostly mad and feel like everyone owes them something. You become your own professor. The streets are your classroom. The "code of the streets", and people are the text books. Someone hits you, you hit them back. Easy. What if I don't want to hit them back. But you want everyone to think your a punk? You can't do that. Once you allow one person to dominate you the others around will see. When the world you know is all about seeming or being HARD, you can not survive by becoming soft. So soon your language follows. The way you walk and carry your self. This is not judgement, it's understanding. We work for what we get. But trust me it would take me until my young adult years to finally realize the many advantages and blessings that there are to growing up in such an environment.
I also enjoyed learning in school. I was a really good student. Being good in school, is not cool in the hood. I excelled in Science and Math like most boys. But I had a love for History as well. I loved learning where things came from and where they began. I was an honor roll student right through to high school. Not normal for all kids in my neighborhood. Was I smarter? No. I realized the importance of an education and it was free. I had a knack for obtaining information and being able to apply it to life, even at a young age. I really believe the grace and gifting God gave me where the most important thing to my success in education, but it was also the attitude I carried with me from growing up in the hood. No one was going to do it for me. I didn't realized how blessed we are in America for having a decent education for free, until I visited poorly educated countries. And they have to pay for it to.
My life had a grace. As I grew up learning from the school of hardknocks, and the school system, I also began to believe in the Kingdom school of teaching. Three ways of learning. As I walked in Christ shoes, I saw the contradictions in the way I was raised, to the way the school taught, and finally to what God teaches. The hood taught that I had to look out for me and I am due certain things because I am master of my life. But no one owes me a thing, but it's I that owe my life to God out of love. So I became a servant. The schools taught me that man created everything and we evolved from chance. That we are limited by rules and theories. God showed me that He wonderfully and purposefully made me. God made the laws of the earth and even spoke it into existence. I became a student of God.
Now as I am again blessed, this time with the opportunity to gain a college education, I realize the importance of learning. But there are important attitudes to carry, like perseverance, gratefulness, toughness and I would thank the hood for that. It takes hard work, discipline, and integrity to learn anything. I would thank my Education for that. I am taking Bible at Liberty University starting next week. To be able to use my hood smarts, in an education setting to learn about God is incredible. I am thankful again to God for giving me a heart to learn, live and love. But how many people can say they learned from growing up in the ghetto? There is no money that can buy that education.
Everything I will say is my opinion and not fact for all. I could never fully explain the difficulty of a childhood in any ghetto, but one thing is sure, that the hood will educate you. In a broken home there is a large portion of your childhood in which you are encouraged to work it out your selves. A right of passage into what your parents had to do them selves, to live in the ghetto. No one taught them, so why would they feel they have to teach you. I am not talking just about driving a car. I am talking about all the aspects of life and with the added difficulty of living in an environment where people are mostly mad and feel like everyone owes them something. You become your own professor. The streets are your classroom. The "code of the streets", and people are the text books. Someone hits you, you hit them back. Easy. What if I don't want to hit them back. But you want everyone to think your a punk? You can't do that. Once you allow one person to dominate you the others around will see. When the world you know is all about seeming or being HARD, you can not survive by becoming soft. So soon your language follows. The way you walk and carry your self. This is not judgement, it's understanding. We work for what we get. But trust me it would take me until my young adult years to finally realize the many advantages and blessings that there are to growing up in such an environment.
I also enjoyed learning in school. I was a really good student. Being good in school, is not cool in the hood. I excelled in Science and Math like most boys. But I had a love for History as well. I loved learning where things came from and where they began. I was an honor roll student right through to high school. Not normal for all kids in my neighborhood. Was I smarter? No. I realized the importance of an education and it was free. I had a knack for obtaining information and being able to apply it to life, even at a young age. I really believe the grace and gifting God gave me where the most important thing to my success in education, but it was also the attitude I carried with me from growing up in the hood. No one was going to do it for me. I didn't realized how blessed we are in America for having a decent education for free, until I visited poorly educated countries. And they have to pay for it to.
My life had a grace. As I grew up learning from the school of hardknocks, and the school system, I also began to believe in the Kingdom school of teaching. Three ways of learning. As I walked in Christ shoes, I saw the contradictions in the way I was raised, to the way the school taught, and finally to what God teaches. The hood taught that I had to look out for me and I am due certain things because I am master of my life. But no one owes me a thing, but it's I that owe my life to God out of love. So I became a servant. The schools taught me that man created everything and we evolved from chance. That we are limited by rules and theories. God showed me that He wonderfully and purposefully made me. God made the laws of the earth and even spoke it into existence. I became a student of God.
Now as I am again blessed, this time with the opportunity to gain a college education, I realize the importance of learning. But there are important attitudes to carry, like perseverance, gratefulness, toughness and I would thank the hood for that. It takes hard work, discipline, and integrity to learn anything. I would thank my Education for that. I am taking Bible at Liberty University starting next week. To be able to use my hood smarts, in an education setting to learn about God is incredible. I am thankful again to God for giving me a heart to learn, live and love. But how many people can say they learned from growing up in the ghetto? There is no money that can buy that education.
Monday, May 9, 2011
I keep it real, MAN
Originally this was going to be long and personal, but God just spoke to me and said, "not all of your story is for everyone to know." I will respect this word.
What I do want to share is this incredible obvious but lost or ignored way to bring people into God's heart. That is to be "real." Where I am from, to be real is to be vulnerable, not just truthful. Real recognizes real. As I turned this post personal, I will tell you that this is what I have been missing in my relationships with men and in turn with women. I say that because God has been healing me of incredible spirits of shame, brokenness of heart, and restoring my view of God as Father.Through authentic relationships with brothers and sisters. Most of my adult Christian life has been ruled by Christian do's and don'ts. Some of us are aware that rules do not bring life or freedom. But because we are far from being real with one another maybe because of insecurity, sin in our own lives, shame, or fear of men; we have lead each other into fear based relations. Fear isn't in the formula for love. Yet this is the seed we are planted from when we are young Sunday school students.
Do not read on if your scared of real heart or experiences.
In my mind what I did equaled God's value of me and how much he loved me. That was communicated to me through relationships I had with other Christians. For example, if a man stood in front of your normal bible believing church and declared he had a sex addiction, even people struggling with said addiction would look at him like some lost soul who was never saved. But will anyone ever comfort him and walk him through it? You would like to think so. We acknowledge the sin and don't consider the heart. What if the guy would go on to say, he was molested as a child, and grew up with out a father and so was confused. But when fear is sowed in shame keeps these things in. Not a chance to share that. People just don't care how you got there. They care that you sinned. Our church in general is too scared to handle these problems. There is no place to be real. Unhealed people are too insecure in their imperfect walks. I know because I was one. Too busy running programs, and not running after God's heart to heal hearts. We can tell you how to run a church but not show you how to be a church. The other half of Jesus' model was that he walked through life with people.
Let me get personal.
My struggle in trying to find what a man of God is, was made a lot more difficult because there were no honest vulnerable men showing me how. I saw perfection and rules. Surface level functions without loving relationships. It took me, 24 years to finally meet a man who considered my heart and what kind of a man God wanted me to be instead what he didn't want me to do. If those you look up to and disciple you are vulnerable and honest and show them selves as people struggling, and unsure at times, wouldn't that freedom cause you to open up. Because that kind of freedom lives in healed people. And a healed person can do amazing things in God's kingdom. This truly didn't happen to me until I met REAL men.
I recently attended a Men's retreat. I was skeptical. I knew only three guys there. I had been to retreats like this before. Maybe some cute little sermons would be preached and a guy would cry. Nope. Just honest testimonies, 11 hours of silence with the lord, and some man time. It started with the vulnerability of the leadership. But also knowing the men leading it, it allowed me to trust the process. And knowing that the men also cared and loved the other men in the room deeply, created a safe atmosphere for freedom. We were in the presence of healed, vulnerable, confident, unafraid men of God. I can't share details because of confidence to the other men who where there but the Holy Spirit healed hearts, broke chains of addiction, shame was lost, sins were confessed, and freedom was real to us. Did it mean these guys would never mess up? Probably not. What it did mean is now we had a small army of men who would fight with us. That wouldn't judge but would encourage. There is a difference when a man looks you in the eye and says you can.
In just a little time, some of the most dramatic healing in my life has occurred. No special speaker, or step program. Pure real honest relationships. But to be honest I had to allow God to do this. I had been running from my self. I had been subconsciously trained to never show my faults because it would mean I wasn't God's. Even sins that had been committed against me. My Christianity was defined on how much I could keep inside. God wants it all. Thank goodness for that.
What I do want to share is this incredible obvious but lost or ignored way to bring people into God's heart. That is to be "real." Where I am from, to be real is to be vulnerable, not just truthful. Real recognizes real. As I turned this post personal, I will tell you that this is what I have been missing in my relationships with men and in turn with women. I say that because God has been healing me of incredible spirits of shame, brokenness of heart, and restoring my view of God as Father.Through authentic relationships with brothers and sisters. Most of my adult Christian life has been ruled by Christian do's and don'ts. Some of us are aware that rules do not bring life or freedom. But because we are far from being real with one another maybe because of insecurity, sin in our own lives, shame, or fear of men; we have lead each other into fear based relations. Fear isn't in the formula for love. Yet this is the seed we are planted from when we are young Sunday school students.
Do not read on if your scared of real heart or experiences.
In my mind what I did equaled God's value of me and how much he loved me. That was communicated to me through relationships I had with other Christians. For example, if a man stood in front of your normal bible believing church and declared he had a sex addiction, even people struggling with said addiction would look at him like some lost soul who was never saved. But will anyone ever comfort him and walk him through it? You would like to think so. We acknowledge the sin and don't consider the heart. What if the guy would go on to say, he was molested as a child, and grew up with out a father and so was confused. But when fear is sowed in shame keeps these things in. Not a chance to share that. People just don't care how you got there. They care that you sinned. Our church in general is too scared to handle these problems. There is no place to be real. Unhealed people are too insecure in their imperfect walks. I know because I was one. Too busy running programs, and not running after God's heart to heal hearts. We can tell you how to run a church but not show you how to be a church. The other half of Jesus' model was that he walked through life with people.
Let me get personal.
My struggle in trying to find what a man of God is, was made a lot more difficult because there were no honest vulnerable men showing me how. I saw perfection and rules. Surface level functions without loving relationships. It took me, 24 years to finally meet a man who considered my heart and what kind of a man God wanted me to be instead what he didn't want me to do. If those you look up to and disciple you are vulnerable and honest and show them selves as people struggling, and unsure at times, wouldn't that freedom cause you to open up. Because that kind of freedom lives in healed people. And a healed person can do amazing things in God's kingdom. This truly didn't happen to me until I met REAL men.
I recently attended a Men's retreat. I was skeptical. I knew only three guys there. I had been to retreats like this before. Maybe some cute little sermons would be preached and a guy would cry. Nope. Just honest testimonies, 11 hours of silence with the lord, and some man time. It started with the vulnerability of the leadership. But also knowing the men leading it, it allowed me to trust the process. And knowing that the men also cared and loved the other men in the room deeply, created a safe atmosphere for freedom. We were in the presence of healed, vulnerable, confident, unafraid men of God. I can't share details because of confidence to the other men who where there but the Holy Spirit healed hearts, broke chains of addiction, shame was lost, sins were confessed, and freedom was real to us. Did it mean these guys would never mess up? Probably not. What it did mean is now we had a small army of men who would fight with us. That wouldn't judge but would encourage. There is a difference when a man looks you in the eye and says you can.
In just a little time, some of the most dramatic healing in my life has occurred. No special speaker, or step program. Pure real honest relationships. But to be honest I had to allow God to do this. I had been running from my self. I had been subconsciously trained to never show my faults because it would mean I wasn't God's. Even sins that had been committed against me. My Christianity was defined on how much I could keep inside. God wants it all. Thank goodness for that.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Yo, It's good to be Home
So being in Philly for the first month and a half since coming back from Thailand was good for my soul. I didn't do a whole lot per say. I just was. I talked baseball with my brothers. I wrestled my nephew and threw him up in the air. I watched Dora the Explorer with one of my nieces, and tickled and chased the other. I ate my mom's cooking and watched boxing with my step-father. I blew out birthday candles and got caked in the face(a family tradition). I visited my dad. I helped out my sisters and sister-in-law when I could, tried to love on my sisters, who all are expecting, the best I could. I ate cheese-steaks with friends. Watched basketball with old mentors. I went on a rode trip with my brother. We visited the Baseball Hall of Fame, the Basketball HOF, and visited Boston. I went to a Flyers game, and Sixers game with my brothers. I did things which I missed the most.
And while I missed them the most, I missed being Philly just because. The culture, the food, and the attitude. Jew eva eat a wadder ice? Did you ever eat a water-ice? Probably not. But if your ever in town ask someone to point you to a Rita's. Oh yea, we got soft pretzels, Tasty cakes, hoagies, crab fries and cheese-steaks of course. To many things to eat so take my word for it. You won't be going to far to hear about our favorite sport teams. If their losing or winning you will here about it some where. You see team gear on every other person. Philly has a bad rap for being horrible fans. That's far from it. We have the best fans. We're just horrible to everyone else and any other team, especially any from NY. The history, the sites, it all was good to see. I visited Will Penn, in City Hall. Walked to the Art museum and ran up the steps. And of course I said hi to Rocky, but at the bottom of the steps. It was good to be a tourist to my own city for day. It's the "City that loves you back", at least that's what they say.
And now I am in Kansas City, MO. Looking forward to getting readjusted to life in America for a while. I'm looking for a part time job. In hopes that the Lord blesses me with a car. I will be wanting to enroll in online bible school, and get my certification in Teaching English. All that will come but I need to reflect on my life the past couple of years. To learn from my mistakes. To take joy in the victories. To let God speak to my heart. I'm in no rush but Thailand is still in my heart. I missed the people I know in Cambodia too. But for now I'll enjoy what God wants to do. I've gone fishing, rock climbing, and may be go camping soon. Doing things that my heart desires. I will be seeking God for vision to guide me in the next part in my life. The overall message of my time in the states so far is that I am, God's beloved son, and he is glad to have me home for a while.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Getting out of the Front Lines, to Come Back for More!
Psalms 144:1 Blessed is the Lord, my Rock, who Trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle.
Richard Winters: That night, I thanked God for seeing me through that day of days and prayed I would make it through D plus 1. I also promised that if some way I could get home again, I would find a nice peaceful town and spend the rest of my life in peace. - Band of Brothers
In my time in Cambodia with HPC(Hard Places Community) and Pastor Rob and his family, came a critical, humbling, and hard reality. I am burned out. I can not serve healthy at this point anymore. Worn out from battling against evil spirits. Because against flesh and blood is not the kind of battling I have been in. Against temptation, anger, loneliness, pride, selfishness, depression, hopelessness, and emptiness. I must have watched 15 war movies in my time in Cambodia. (Don't worry I read five whole books as well.) Their was something inside that was hungry for that imagery. I mostly watched the highly acclaimed World War II miniseries, Band of Brothers. It is based on the book, which are true accounts of the 101st Airborne Division of the United States Army.(" The division suffered 1,766 Killed In Action; 6,388 Wounded In Action; and 324 Died of Wounds during World War II." - Wikipedia)
Those men have my respect for the rest of my life. Most men who survived after D-Day and beyond never wanted to leave their brothers in battle. Even when they were injured and shot, they would rush back into battle. Why I mentioned this is because I feel I've battled long enough and need to heal my wounds, be retrained, re-energized, to be deployed back out fit for war. So by the end of the next month I am hoping to reach the States for a few months of "peace." I will be going through some training, processing, planing, education, support raising, and just being with people I love.
2nd Lt. George Rice: Looks like you guys are going to be surrounded.
Richard Winters: We're paratroopers, Lieutenant. We're supposed to be surrounded.
If your a pacifist your probably not enjoying all the war metaphors. But I am only lifting up my JEHOVAH-NISSI, my banner in battle so that JEHOVAH-SABAOTH who is leading his Army, is glorified. But honestly looking at our lives in Christ, pictured in a war setting helps me to focus on the gospel and our role as the church. If you were out in battle knowing someone is out to kill you would you lose focus? Maybe if your scared. Armies are disciplined well run units on a mission. They have counted the cost. You have probably heard a sermon or two using this imagery. I have heard it more used with men. Is there a reason? Of course, we are at war. God is war like. Please don't stone me yet. Part of his character is war like. The last battle is not gonna be a tickle contest. One of his names is, the Lord of Armies! God will one day destroy his enemies, and so for the time being we are in the battles that are leading up to the final one, to end all wars. It helps to keep me sharp. But over the last 6 months my guard has been down. I have slipped in some areas. I began lashing out on the same people I came to love on. It's like I have been stuck alone in a bunker out of ammo, fighting a rushing enemy from all sides. I have been hit and I can only lick up my wounds for so long. I thought in my pridefulness, that if I can tough it out I would survive and be great for God. How can I do that if I am not even listening to God or loving God? I need my squad. I need to be pulled out no matter how much I think I can take.
Richard Winters: How'd it go? The drop?
Cpt. Nixon: We took a direct hit over the drop zone. I got out, two others got out.
Richard Winters: And the rest of the boys?
Cpt. Nixon: Oh, they blew up in Germany somewhere... Boom.
So coming to my second year serving in Thailand I had been running into, culture shock, stress, feelings of depression, and having no guidance. I have people here. Good friends who love Jesus. But it's like when the Troopers landed on D-Day, a lot of soldiers were dropped in the wrong drop zone. Some got completely lost. Some died on the way down under heavy fire. This is the way I have felt. Alone with no squad of my own. I wanted to find my commanding officer. But I was stuck. Many times looking for someone who understood me and could give me some encouragement. Being the crazy soldier for Christ I am I trusted in the Lord of Lords to guide me. God has been more than good. He has carried me through. I have learned another language. He has allowed me to tell others of his name. I have never gone hungry and always a place to sleep. Things have been real rough at times, but I didn't sign up for Disney Land!
Ronald Speirs: We're all scared. You hid in that ditch because you think there's still hope. But Blithe, the only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to function as a soldier is supposed to function. Without mercy. Without compassion. Without remorse. All war depends upon it.
When we take risk things will happen. I have always thought that one does not know they are in a battle unless they step up to the line. That's when the enemy sees you. It's like the light on a lamp post deal Jesus talks about. They fire at you because of a threat to what they are trying to accomplish. You have declared your self in battle. Now some of us might not like to fire back. That's ok. I try to, respect true pacifist. Maybe your the medic on hand. Maybe your the communications man ready to call in the heavy guns.
The difference is that some choose to do that from the safety of their homes, or their church building. Now that I can not agree with. John Piper says it nicely,"If we walk away from risk to keep ourselves safe and solvent, we will waste our lives." In my view it's the equivalent to those barking CO's ready to chew down a lower ranking soldier to some how justify his rank, but never having ever been to battle himself. I didn't plan on being out here alone. I took the risk. God called me out. I forgot what life could've been in America. That life was dead. I was dead. Excuses are for civilians. Pain is just weakness leaving the body. Fear is just a word.
Richard Winters: These men have been through the toughest training the Army has to offer, under the worst possible circumstances, and they volunteered for it.
Richard Winters: You know why they volunteered? Because they knew that the man in the foxhole next to them would be the best, not some draftee who's going to get them killed.
God knows the plans he has set before me. And so I trust in this next phase of my life. Still I have the desire to come back and share God's gospel with his love. But I want to and need to be at my best. Emotionally healthy, physically fit, spiritually sharp and Lord, willing healed and spirit filled. I respect real men who have died for just causes on the front lines. It takes heart to go, courage to stand, and strength to get up.
Mike Ranney: "Grandpa, were you a hero in the war?" Grandpa said, "No... but I served in a company of heroes".
"The military is the Maginot line in the battle of the sexes, the final remaining bastion of institutionalized masculinity and the last place left in the civilized world where characteristically male traits - aggression, risk taking, courage, and strength - are respected and valued." - Kathleen Parker, from her book "Save the Males"
Richard Winters: That night, I thanked God for seeing me through that day of days and prayed I would make it through D plus 1. I also promised that if some way I could get home again, I would find a nice peaceful town and spend the rest of my life in peace. - Band of Brothers
In my time in Cambodia with HPC(Hard Places Community) and Pastor Rob and his family, came a critical, humbling, and hard reality. I am burned out. I can not serve healthy at this point anymore. Worn out from battling against evil spirits. Because against flesh and blood is not the kind of battling I have been in. Against temptation, anger, loneliness, pride, selfishness, depression, hopelessness, and emptiness. I must have watched 15 war movies in my time in Cambodia. (Don't worry I read five whole books as well.) Their was something inside that was hungry for that imagery. I mostly watched the highly acclaimed World War II miniseries, Band of Brothers. It is based on the book, which are true accounts of the 101st Airborne Division of the United States Army.(" The division suffered 1,766 Killed In Action; 6,388 Wounded In Action; and 324 Died of Wounds during World War II." - Wikipedia)
Those men have my respect for the rest of my life. Most men who survived after D-Day and beyond never wanted to leave their brothers in battle. Even when they were injured and shot, they would rush back into battle. Why I mentioned this is because I feel I've battled long enough and need to heal my wounds, be retrained, re-energized, to be deployed back out fit for war. So by the end of the next month I am hoping to reach the States for a few months of "peace." I will be going through some training, processing, planing, education, support raising, and just being with people I love.
2nd Lt. George Rice: Looks like you guys are going to be surrounded.
Richard Winters: We're paratroopers, Lieutenant. We're supposed to be surrounded.
If your a pacifist your probably not enjoying all the war metaphors. But I am only lifting up my JEHOVAH-NISSI, my banner in battle so that JEHOVAH-SABAOTH who is leading his Army, is glorified. But honestly looking at our lives in Christ, pictured in a war setting helps me to focus on the gospel and our role as the church. If you were out in battle knowing someone is out to kill you would you lose focus? Maybe if your scared. Armies are disciplined well run units on a mission. They have counted the cost. You have probably heard a sermon or two using this imagery. I have heard it more used with men. Is there a reason? Of course, we are at war. God is war like. Please don't stone me yet. Part of his character is war like. The last battle is not gonna be a tickle contest. One of his names is, the Lord of Armies! God will one day destroy his enemies, and so for the time being we are in the battles that are leading up to the final one, to end all wars. It helps to keep me sharp. But over the last 6 months my guard has been down. I have slipped in some areas. I began lashing out on the same people I came to love on. It's like I have been stuck alone in a bunker out of ammo, fighting a rushing enemy from all sides. I have been hit and I can only lick up my wounds for so long. I thought in my pridefulness, that if I can tough it out I would survive and be great for God. How can I do that if I am not even listening to God or loving God? I need my squad. I need to be pulled out no matter how much I think I can take.
Richard Winters: How'd it go? The drop?
Cpt. Nixon: We took a direct hit over the drop zone. I got out, two others got out.
Richard Winters: And the rest of the boys?
Cpt. Nixon: Oh, they blew up in Germany somewhere... Boom.
So coming to my second year serving in Thailand I had been running into, culture shock, stress, feelings of depression, and having no guidance. I have people here. Good friends who love Jesus. But it's like when the Troopers landed on D-Day, a lot of soldiers were dropped in the wrong drop zone. Some got completely lost. Some died on the way down under heavy fire. This is the way I have felt. Alone with no squad of my own. I wanted to find my commanding officer. But I was stuck. Many times looking for someone who understood me and could give me some encouragement. Being the crazy soldier for Christ I am I trusted in the Lord of Lords to guide me. God has been more than good. He has carried me through. I have learned another language. He has allowed me to tell others of his name. I have never gone hungry and always a place to sleep. Things have been real rough at times, but I didn't sign up for Disney Land!
Ronald Speirs: We're all scared. You hid in that ditch because you think there's still hope. But Blithe, the only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to function as a soldier is supposed to function. Without mercy. Without compassion. Without remorse. All war depends upon it.
When we take risk things will happen. I have always thought that one does not know they are in a battle unless they step up to the line. That's when the enemy sees you. It's like the light on a lamp post deal Jesus talks about. They fire at you because of a threat to what they are trying to accomplish. You have declared your self in battle. Now some of us might not like to fire back. That's ok. I try to, respect true pacifist. Maybe your the medic on hand. Maybe your the communications man ready to call in the heavy guns.
The difference is that some choose to do that from the safety of their homes, or their church building. Now that I can not agree with. John Piper says it nicely,"If we walk away from risk to keep ourselves safe and solvent, we will waste our lives." In my view it's the equivalent to those barking CO's ready to chew down a lower ranking soldier to some how justify his rank, but never having ever been to battle himself. I didn't plan on being out here alone. I took the risk. God called me out. I forgot what life could've been in America. That life was dead. I was dead. Excuses are for civilians. Pain is just weakness leaving the body. Fear is just a word.
Richard Winters: These men have been through the toughest training the Army has to offer, under the worst possible circumstances, and they volunteered for it.
Richard Winters: You know why they volunteered? Because they knew that the man in the foxhole next to them would be the best, not some draftee who's going to get them killed.
God knows the plans he has set before me. And so I trust in this next phase of my life. Still I have the desire to come back and share God's gospel with his love. But I want to and need to be at my best. Emotionally healthy, physically fit, spiritually sharp and Lord, willing healed and spirit filled. I respect real men who have died for just causes on the front lines. It takes heart to go, courage to stand, and strength to get up.
Mike Ranney: "Grandpa, were you a hero in the war?" Grandpa said, "No... but I served in a company of heroes".
"The military is the Maginot line in the battle of the sexes, the final remaining bastion of institutionalized masculinity and the last place left in the civilized world where characteristically male traits - aggression, risk taking, courage, and strength - are respected and valued." - Kathleen Parker, from her book "Save the Males"
| 2Ti 2:3 | Suffer |
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
What do you expect?
I don't know where this might hit some of you. I guess it's like any of my rants in that I just like to ask the questions. Sometimes I have my own answers but this is not particularly for me. It's for those who have been giving faithfully to those who are called "missionaries." I personally I am thankful for those who believe in a great God that can take an imperfect hood kid and turn him loose on the world. Anyway I have always had to battle with living life basically on the donations of people. I did not grow up that way. I appreciate things that come my way. I believe in working hard for the things I get. I did not have a silver spoon in my mouth or could I afford to buy one. So trying to hang on the past four years of my life where I have lived off less than half of what I made in a year in the states is hard, to say the least. But my main point or question is, what is expected of me being a supported worker of God? Now I think people need to be held accountable for sure. By whose standards? Should every penny be scrutinized? Is there room for people to spend on cup of Starbucks coffee, or go out to watch a movie? Do supporters have the right to dig in to my life? Should I pressure my self to perform?
I don't know I have never supported a "missionary" before. I have personally felt and some I have witnessed, that churches or in some cases, individuals, or even missionaries have put pressure on missionaries because they support them financially. Again this goes without saying that there may have been reasons for some of these pressures missionary boards, churches, or individuals have put on people, who serve God out side of their country. But they are pressures. Are they valid? This does not speak of all people.
Counting how many I saved.
This is one of the first revolutionary ideas in my life as a Christian. My worth with God does not depend on how many people I got saved. Because none of us can save someone. I thought I read and believed in only one man who could do that. I can't count how many short mission trips I have been on, or heard groups who come back from one and share how many people they saved. How could you tell? They raised their hand in a tent, they said a magical prayer, they walked up to the preacher at the end of the sermon, they came to church next Sunday, someone laid hands on them, some of them fell when they laid hands on them,etc. I did every method I think several times before I was convinced. Without getting to much into it, we are all in a journey that is going somewhere with God. Everyone will be surprised about who will end up in Heaven or not. We can be accountable to the calling of God in our lives and our interactions with others. And the rest God handles. This one is not fair to expect someone to answer. And if you do, how many did you get saved then?
All the good things you do, smile.
Sadly I was once guilty of these things too. You know the great photo of the missionary holding the AIDS baby. A shot of the servant helping pass out food during a natural disaster. The saint aiding the homeless. God's heart is in it. They are good, and with the right attitude God gets the glory. But these are things you can capture on film to exalt God or exalt yourself. I personally work in an environment where the people are already exploited. So you won't be seeing a lot of photos from me with the people I love here in Thailand. I remember in one of my trips to Swaziland, an AIDS affected country. This country already being over populated with well to do people, had even more people taking exploiting shots of helpless children for there well to do campaign. This one day having been in a particular village for months these foreigners came in, for 15 minutes took their shots, even one with a kid holding a sign that said "Please help", then drove away. My good friend, who was a native, turned to me and sternly said,"this is not a zoo." Exactly. How would you feel if people ran around taking shots of you in your most helpless moment? Or even more invading, if someone took pictures of you in your sin? Like some who have come here go on outreach to a bar and say to the women, "I know your are selling your bodies" or, "I am a missionary". And now let me take a picture with you so that people can see that I talked to a prostitute. Now pictures are, a very good way for supporters to see what, or who you are talking about. They are great for raising funds and awareness. I just don't think it's fair to demand it in every situation. You never know what type of work a person is in and taking their word is enough. I know we want to share stories, but what begins to happen is that you start to feel protective of people you minister to and don't want to share their life to millions of strangers. Besides, there are many things you can not capture with a photo. Like the building of a relationship in Christ.
Are you teaching them the right way to becoming Christian?
I think this one takes a lot of understanding from a western prospective. Again I was once ignorant of other cultures, and how God has created them uniquely to worship him. I once had communion with watermelon and soda once in a rural village. Did they miss out on what communion is? Maybe missed out on what the bread symbolizes to the Jews maybe, but the point is this is what was available, but their heart was to remember Christ. So take that situation and try to imagine the many Christian rituals, traditions, and what not, that we hold dear and try to replicate them in a situation like lets say, a third world, war torn country, where your dead if someone smells a Christian. I was always told that baptism was a public display of following Jesus. A heard a story from a seasoned church planter in South America, who after leading a young man to Christ, had him publicly display his faith. He was the only believer. He then got alienated by the village. Then one day they grabbed him and killed him. Not different from other stories of faith and persecution. This was not a hostile to Christian area. It was a ignorant read of culture. But the church plater learned a lesson. If I had him baptized inside he may have still been alive planting churches today. There are many things that will not go line by line by our western church rule book. You begin to realize how much we have added and don't necessarily need, in a reproducible church. This may be way over some of your heads. Maybe you think I am blaspheming. I was once asked If I planted a church who was going to pastor it? Because I wouldn't be qualified from a American seminary, or neither would any of the villagers, so I guess God is not allowed to have a church there. People will always have things to say, but God does not come in a box and neither does his people. Church is mentioned three times in the gospel. An assembly or gathering in the Greek. Let's start there before we put the walls up, the stage, monitors, guitars, pulpit, collection plate, etc.
There are more I have seen made God's humble workers turn into stressed business people. What should I show you? What do you want to know? Can I take day off? I wonder what Jesus did? I start and begin everyday with God. Pray for me, support me anyway you can. I don't want to pressure you in the same way.
Much Love.
I don't know I have never supported a "missionary" before. I have personally felt and some I have witnessed, that churches or in some cases, individuals, or even missionaries have put pressure on missionaries because they support them financially. Again this goes without saying that there may have been reasons for some of these pressures missionary boards, churches, or individuals have put on people, who serve God out side of their country. But they are pressures. Are they valid? This does not speak of all people.
Counting how many I saved.
This is one of the first revolutionary ideas in my life as a Christian. My worth with God does not depend on how many people I got saved. Because none of us can save someone. I thought I read and believed in only one man who could do that. I can't count how many short mission trips I have been on, or heard groups who come back from one and share how many people they saved. How could you tell? They raised their hand in a tent, they said a magical prayer, they walked up to the preacher at the end of the sermon, they came to church next Sunday, someone laid hands on them, some of them fell when they laid hands on them,etc. I did every method I think several times before I was convinced. Without getting to much into it, we are all in a journey that is going somewhere with God. Everyone will be surprised about who will end up in Heaven or not. We can be accountable to the calling of God in our lives and our interactions with others. And the rest God handles. This one is not fair to expect someone to answer. And if you do, how many did you get saved then?
All the good things you do, smile.
Sadly I was once guilty of these things too. You know the great photo of the missionary holding the AIDS baby. A shot of the servant helping pass out food during a natural disaster. The saint aiding the homeless. God's heart is in it. They are good, and with the right attitude God gets the glory. But these are things you can capture on film to exalt God or exalt yourself. I personally work in an environment where the people are already exploited. So you won't be seeing a lot of photos from me with the people I love here in Thailand. I remember in one of my trips to Swaziland, an AIDS affected country. This country already being over populated with well to do people, had even more people taking exploiting shots of helpless children for there well to do campaign. This one day having been in a particular village for months these foreigners came in, for 15 minutes took their shots, even one with a kid holding a sign that said "Please help", then drove away. My good friend, who was a native, turned to me and sternly said,"this is not a zoo." Exactly. How would you feel if people ran around taking shots of you in your most helpless moment? Or even more invading, if someone took pictures of you in your sin? Like some who have come here go on outreach to a bar and say to the women, "I know your are selling your bodies" or, "I am a missionary". And now let me take a picture with you so that people can see that I talked to a prostitute. Now pictures are, a very good way for supporters to see what, or who you are talking about. They are great for raising funds and awareness. I just don't think it's fair to demand it in every situation. You never know what type of work a person is in and taking their word is enough. I know we want to share stories, but what begins to happen is that you start to feel protective of people you minister to and don't want to share their life to millions of strangers. Besides, there are many things you can not capture with a photo. Like the building of a relationship in Christ.
Are you teaching them the right way to becoming Christian?
I think this one takes a lot of understanding from a western prospective. Again I was once ignorant of other cultures, and how God has created them uniquely to worship him. I once had communion with watermelon and soda once in a rural village. Did they miss out on what communion is? Maybe missed out on what the bread symbolizes to the Jews maybe, but the point is this is what was available, but their heart was to remember Christ. So take that situation and try to imagine the many Christian rituals, traditions, and what not, that we hold dear and try to replicate them in a situation like lets say, a third world, war torn country, where your dead if someone smells a Christian. I was always told that baptism was a public display of following Jesus. A heard a story from a seasoned church planter in South America, who after leading a young man to Christ, had him publicly display his faith. He was the only believer. He then got alienated by the village. Then one day they grabbed him and killed him. Not different from other stories of faith and persecution. This was not a hostile to Christian area. It was a ignorant read of culture. But the church plater learned a lesson. If I had him baptized inside he may have still been alive planting churches today. There are many things that will not go line by line by our western church rule book. You begin to realize how much we have added and don't necessarily need, in a reproducible church. This may be way over some of your heads. Maybe you think I am blaspheming. I was once asked If I planted a church who was going to pastor it? Because I wouldn't be qualified from a American seminary, or neither would any of the villagers, so I guess God is not allowed to have a church there. People will always have things to say, but God does not come in a box and neither does his people. Church is mentioned three times in the gospel. An assembly or gathering in the Greek. Let's start there before we put the walls up, the stage, monitors, guitars, pulpit, collection plate, etc.
There are more I have seen made God's humble workers turn into stressed business people. What should I show you? What do you want to know? Can I take day off? I wonder what Jesus did? I start and begin everyday with God. Pray for me, support me anyway you can. I don't want to pressure you in the same way.
Much Love.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Men > Women or Men = Women
This is more to encourage my brothers and sisters to live in community with in the kingdom of God rather to build a statement so that I can separate believers on an issue. We already have denominationalism, racism, socialism, ageism, sexism, and satan trying to kill and separate the body. I want to throw out some questions to stir up actions towards unity and not division.
This question came up during my weekly mens group. What is a man of God? I even started out by saying somethings about David. But quickly a paradigm shift would happen when a friend in the group ask the question."why wouldn't a women be able to do anything of those things he did?" Well, I guess she could?! A man described by God himself as a man after his heart. Yet there isn't anything particular that he did that a women couldn't have done with the power of God. Kill a giant with a sling. Lead an army. Become a ruler of people. We all know David messed up big time in his life time. But I don't remember people bringing that up when you here a sermon done on the greatest men in the bible. So there were times when he was very weak. In Hebrews 11 he is also listed in the Hall of Faith. Women have faith. David was courageous, strong, poetic, a leader, creative, musical, a warrior and a friend of God. All things women can be and are. So that begged the question what is it exactly that makes a Godly man. Maybe it's more fair to say that we are people who are Godly, but I happen to be a man. So that makes me a Godly man. And not that there are specific things pigeon holed into it. There are things that separate me as a man, but in the kingdom we are equal. I want to look at it from a female prospective.
That is just a process of thought. Now biblically is where is gets hostile.
1 Corinthians 11:3 says,"But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of everyman, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ."
The argument here is that the head in the Greek means something other than being in authority over. Some text and even my study Bible claims that the word means " the source of". Although there isn't really proof in any ancient writing that this is true. Where did it come from? And every time "head" is used in that context it means,"one in authority over". But what does that even mean in the context Paul is writing? Is he pointing to a system we should use in order to remain in harmony to understand submission, or a reason for one sex to rule over another?
Have most even factor in the attitude towards woman at that time? They weren't even allowed to publicly read, learn, much less voice an opinion in most societies. Some men would pray that they weren't women. It wasn't the fairest situation for women. How could they be anything else but submissive? Isn't it not the reason Jesus' interactions with women were so profound? This is something to understand when reading scripture that involves specific instructions to males and females.
1 Corinthians 14:34, Paul asked the women to be silent in the church. There must have been a reason. Again this is the same letter he is writing to Corinth. A specific letter to their situation. The women in Corinth must have really been causing trouble, so he feels the need to admonish them. But they had all kinds of trouble in Corinth. Again he is trying to help them answer their questions for their specific problems. Not that todays church couldn't learn something from his letter to them or that we don't run into the same issues.
Point being that we often take a letter that Paul wrote to a situation and make it theology. As someone once said, "we take our theology more from Paul's letters than from the life of Jesus." I agree. Suppose you were a baking company. If you wrote me a letter asking me how to bake a better cake because people have been complaining that it's not good, and I write you back telling you what mistakes you have made and what could make your cake more delicious. Do I take that same letter and show it to the pizza shop across the street and tell them how to make better pizza pies? No. Both want to feed, and both want to please, and both want to succeed, but they will obviously run differently. I hope you are not reading this with a closed mind. Not saying what Paul teaches is ungodly or wrong, or not of God. It's that we are error prone people. Misinterpretation or whatever, we can either look through things with the lens of Christ or our own. We humans have a crazy track record of taking any excuse to impose power over people.
Women were a part of God's plan. From Eve to Esther, to Mary. They were there when Jesus was born in the flesh. When the spirit came in Acts. They were persecuted. They were leaders, teachers, and prophets in the early church. Were they not apostles, and evangelist as well? And pastors... They can't be because, eh, huh? Oh yea, because Timothy says so right? Well he does say they must be men of...Where they not in the Jewish culture that didn't let the women do anything? Of course he is going to be talking to men. There is nothing that says a pastor needs to be a man. Women can die for the faith, but they can't have pastor next to their name? Aren't most of our mothers pastoral by nature? What if God choose a people who were in a Matriarchy? Just saying.
These are questions I asked because there is enough things I have followed because someone told me so. As I dig into the word, the character of God, Jesus' life, it breaks down more walls, stereotypes, traditions and judgments that I have blindly followed even in the church. Many of them started out with good intentions, but have turned into reasons for us to fight or over power. As I enter the kingdom mind it takes me out of the politics of the church building and lets me see freedom in his love and ways.
Men are generally stronger, faster, hairier, have a male productive organ etc. These are things that make me a man. What makes a women a women are fact as well. But in the kingdom of God it seems that he has made us equal. The world has a system that the kingdom does not follow. One of those horrible world systems is that men are greater than women or far greater in some societies. I personally believe God wanted to show us that in order for things to work in his kingdom there needs to be healthy submission. Like Jesus showed us towards the Father. I think he has chosen men to do that as well. But to use that argument to tell women who were made in God's image, beauty, authority, that they can't be as important to the body of Christ as men are made out to be, is not a good use of that submission.
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